When I walked into a concert last month, I was handed a bingo card. The phrases on squares prompted me to find people who had the same favorite color as I did, or had traveled recently — meaning I’d have to speak with strangers. The activity seemed more aligned with a bridal shower than an indie show, but this wasn’t a typical concert. It was put on by Sofar Sounds, a company that lines up concerts with emerging artists at locations that aren’t disclosed until shortly before the show; they can be galleries or event spaces or even backyards. This show in particular wasn’t just about fans finding new artists, but about fans maybe finding love: It was a concert for singles.
“We didn’t set out intending to be necessarily a singles thing,” Warren Webster, Sofar’s CEO, tells me. But there was demand — people were buying tickets particularly to find someone to date, Webster says Sofar surveys of users found. (Turns out a lot of people’s takeaway from Coldplay KissCamgate may have been, “I want some of what they’re having”). So a year ago, the company started hosting concerts geared toward single people looking to meet, and there’s been demand around the world since, with more than 60 singles events spanning 16 cities, and some 7,000 people coming looking for love. It’s “just indicative of the moment that we’re in,” Webster says.
Sofar, which serves people new artists without the intervention of an algorithm, has all the undeniable elements of cool: underground artists, exclusivity, and leaving the house. The company was “created to give artists a chance to actually authentically connect with audiences in a way that hasn’t been overly controlled by mass entertainment,” Webster says. And in a world where dating, music discovery, and the flow of information is largely controlled by algorithms, there’s a movement brewing to push people back to in-person hangs, where they can encounter serendipity and make connections the old school way.
Getting offline is the new social currency.
The phrase “offline is the new luxury” has been slowly bubbling up on social media over the past few years. Some post it along with photos of their lavish vacations around the world, some speculate that the wealthiest people will soon shun social media and smartphones in favor of a life lived mostly offline. Digital minimalism is on the rise, with some people posting less on social media and keeping more of their lives private after a decade of sharing photos of their every meal online. In a recent podcast appearance, Aziz Ansari described staying away from “chatbot” (he means ChatGPT), having a flip phone, and ditching email, the absence of which gives him “more space to think.” He qualifies that he has an assistant. For those who have to pay their own electric bills and report to bosses, shunning email and returning to a flip phone is an improbable mandate. Still, a movement is building to get people off their phones for even just an evening, and people are flocking to companies that provide opportunities for in-person connection.
Going offline for a week is now the biggest investment you can do and the most luxurious thing you can do.Andrew Roth, founder of Offline
Many are starting to see that “going offline for a week is now the biggest investment you can do and the most luxurious thing you can do, because you can, because it’s an active choice you’re able to make,” says Andrew Roth, founder of Offline, a platform that highlights in-person communities and helps them to connect with brands to co-host or be part of in-person events, as more people tire of online brand engagement. Going offline “ends up transitioning into a more culturally wide opportunity in terms of accessing that quote-un-quote luxury,” Roth says. “That’s what these communities are trying to do is create more of the access for that in different ways that don’t require you to take a one week vacation to Hawaii.”
Social media and dating apps for a time lowered the investment people had to make to find one another. They were free, and some did find genuine connections on sites like Tumblr and in fan communities, and about 10% of adults in serious relationships met via dating apps, according to a 2023 report from the Pew Research Center. But recent years have seen the enshittification of the apps, as they prompted people to pay subscription fees or fall to the lower ranks of romantic hopefuls, and now dating apps are in a flop era and users are fleeing. “Sit at the bar September” and “off the apps October” have both been trending, encouraging singles to get off their phones and try to meet people in person.
Social media isn’t so social anymore — TikTok, Instagram, and X are full of AI slop, and the newest social media apps, like Sora or Meta’s Vibes feed, are built on AI content. An October 2024 Pew Research Center survey of teens found that nearly half say social media has a mostly negative effect on people their age, with only 11% saying it’s mostly positive.
New social connection apps, promoting friendship or love IRL, are having a moment. 222, an app that charges a curation fee and pairs strangers up for events (typically dinners), used the phrase “offline is the new luxury” on a billboard. The app has raised $3.6 million, and has hosted “thousands” of events and has “hundreds of thousands of members,” Keyan Kazemian, the app’s founder, tells me. There’s also Timeleft (also for dinners with strangers), Pie (which connects people who share interests to groups like book clubs and healthy living), and numerous new speed dating companies resurrecting a pre-dating app experience for generations that grew more comfortable swiping than chatting. Kanso, which hosts phone-free gatherings, advertises itself as “for those who were made for more.” People can buy tickets to events where they lock their phones away and spend a few hours meeting new people. Kanso’s founder, Randy Ginsburg, says the events seem to so far appeal to highly-driven extroverts, and unlike apps that track screen time or block people from using certain apps, Kanso’s unplugged events focus on providing alternatives to time spent on screens, and help people “meet people worth putting your phone down for,” he tells me.
Ginsburg likens the digital detox to other health-first lifestyle choices, like exercising or eating right — engaging in the behaviors aligns somewhat with having the privilege to take the time and effort to do so. “People require various degrees of education, accountability, and support to put these practices into their lives,” Ginsburg says. “I think the same thing is very much true of our relationship with technology and our phones.”
For most, the in-person events are ways to find the ever-shrinking third place, not to fully replace their online presence. Yumi Temple, a 29-year-old in Denver who works in public relations, says she made a lasting friendship after attending a dinner with Timeleft last year. “Our generation has so many fewer institutions than previous ones,” Temple says. “I don’t necessarily think in person as the meeting point or introduction to another person is more special, I think it’s just about whatever the catalyzing thing that had you to meet.” With services like Timeleft, people pay a monthly subscription fee of $19.99 and the cost of the meal, so Temple says she wouldn’t attend the dinners regularly, but it was helpful because she knew after making the investment, “these people are all open to making a new friend. They’re prepared to put the energy and time in to make that work.”
At the Sofar Sounds show, it felt easy for people to talk to one another. By attending, we were signaling that we were open to meeting. The bingo card that at first felt so cheesy ended up being the easiest way to justify walking up to someone and asking a question. In a world where many of us still average more screen time than face time with friends, the IRL events are giving people a reason to try stepping away from their screens.
Amanda Hoover is a senior correspondent at Business Insider covering the tech industry. She writes about the biggest tech companies and trends.
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